Mommy, what’s a Donor? How to talk to your Egg Donor child
We can’t say it any better than this great short video, well worth a watch:
I need an Egg Donor to conceive. How can I make peace with that?
We know that some couples have no difficulty in making this decision. But, for many, it is an unconventional and difficult choice. IVF is, as you know, costly, takes time and asks huge emotional questions of you as a couple, so to extend it into an area where your baby contains only the male half of your genetic material, is a huge decision and you will want to be absolutely sure that you have tried enough with your own eggs.
What is a mother?
It’s more than biology and genetics. A mother is someone (called “Mom”, “Mummy” or similar) who raises their child.
Your Egg Donor has given the gift of hope, but your child is all yours.
What plays a more important role in my child’s future development, nature or nurture?
We wish we could confidently answer this question. There’s a good summary of the debate here, but – in short – we wonder if your child’s innate (genetic) blueprint (nature), or her environmental experiences (nurture) will play a stronger role in defining the person she or he will ultimately grow to be.
Why do I / don’t I feel so emotional?
Because it may be a very emotional decision for you! Think of the journey so far; your decision to use an Egg Donor will mean losing a genetic connection and you should allow yourself to grieve for this.
I’m thinking of using an Egg Donor
We know that you have come a long way on your journey. We also know that you have probably thought your way through all the options and emotions around this form of in-vitro fertilisation (IVF), but as these issues are very often not discussed in a structured fashion, we think that the questions below will help you in your final decision.
Will I love my children as much as if they were conceived with my own egg?
Let me assure you that the kicks and hiccups during pregnancy are straight into your heart (and other organs!), and your baby becomes a part of you in every way. You are a team: your partner, your baby and you, and you all bring your family together in joy. The origin of your egg has nothing to do with this.
I’ve heard about Epigentics. What is this and how does it affect me?
It’s a huge topic, but – in part – a very interesting and relevant concept: genes must be ‘expressed’ in a particular environment in order to have an effect; weak, moderate or strong. And the particular environment that you bring to pregnancy and family life beyond (your womb, your body and your family) defines how your baby’s genes are expressed.
Do I tell anyone I am doing this?
That’s completely up to you, isn’t it? Some couples do and some don’t.
How do I choose an Egg Donor?
You choose the one that’s right for you.
At ababySA, we concentrate on supplying properly-qualified Egg Donors, who are both committed to your process and likely to supply the best-quality eggs. Because, by law, the Egg Donor has to remain anonymous; there are no adult or identifying pictures, but there is plenty of detail that will give you a good idea of your Egg Donor’s genetic characteristics.