I need an Egg Donor to conceive. How can I make peace with that?

We know that some couples have no difficulty in making this decision. But, for many, it is an unconventional and difficult choice. IVF is, as you know, costly, takes time and asks huge emotional questions of you as a couple, so to extend it into an area where your baby contains only the male half of your genetic material, is a huge decision and you will want to be absolutely sure that you have tried enough with your own eggs. You may have a subliminal picture of what your child will be like, and look like, and it’s very important to grieve for a lost biological connection.

You may have religious and ethical concerns as well.

However, using an Egg Donor is not as unequal a process as you may think: carrying a baby is at least equal to a male genetic contribution! And you will be able to focus on what you value and like about your male partner, and what you hope your baby will inherit. You are both parents in every sense of the word; you have gone beyond yourself to make your family.

“Be sure”. That is a very specific decision that only you can make as a couple. Your DNA will not be part of your baby, but – more importantly – your nuturing will form and inform your child.

Work through your final decision with someone that you trust. There are some fantastic online support groups, informed medical professionals and even religious and social peer groups that will be very useful as a “final eye”.

At ababySA, we know that your decision will be the right one, and – when you do decide to use an Egg Donor – you will be devoted and bonded to your child in a way that sustains the weight of all your wishes, of love and of hope. You will become at peace as soon as you feel the renewed hope and excitement as you create your family.

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